“You are my momma! You are everyone’s momma!!” In that moment my heart felt like it would explode! But let me back up a bit…
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom. I have always wanted a lot of children running around and for a long while I wanted them to all be my biological children. But in the last couple years God has placed adoption heavy on my heart. I thought that I would have a couple biological children but then I would have a few more adopted children! I was so excited! And then I went to Africa….
During my first trip to Zambia in 2014 I fell in love with the country and the people that live here. But I was heartbroken by the sheer amount of orphaned and vulnerable children everywhere and I knew right away that that was why God had wanted me to be a mommy. He wanted me to be a mommy to lost and broken children in Zambia.
Fast forward about a year to my second trip in 2015. I remember this day like it was yesterday, I was sitting outside behind the school building in Chipata (the village where the feeding center is) after a particularly rough morning and Victoria came over and started talking to me. (Victoria is the manager for GlobalFingerprints in Zambia and has a huge heart for the kids here.) She asked me about school and what I wanted to do after I was done with high school. I told her nursing with hopes to use it in missions in the future. After I had told her my plans she looked at me and said, “Jim and I have been talking and we were wondering if you would like to be the Coordinator for GlobalFingerprints in Zambia?” (Jim has been overseeing GlobalFingerprints in Zambia and was very instrumental in starting up the program some years ago.) I must have had a strange look on my face because she told me to take it home and think and pray about it and see what God was saying.
I went back to America a couple weeks later and proceeded to tell my parents about the offer. At first they were a bit hesitant. They had reason behind their hesitation but did agree to be praying for it. After a bit of convincing on my part and I’m sure a whole lot of convincing on God’s part they decided to let me go for it. (Thank you mom and dad you guys are the best
This brings me back to the quote I started with: It was my sweet Given who said this to me on one of our days at the orphanage last week. My heart skipped a beat! This is what I was waiting for! It seems that all at once I became a momma to all of the crazy, rambunctious, loud, sweet, loving, and adorable children at the orphanage! And it felt as though my heart could not be any happier! But God was not done with me yet.
Yesterday on our way to church I was praying and my mind settled into praying for our week at Chipata. And it hit me-the kiddos at Chipata are mine too. And my heart felt so full. I was so excited. But then I started thinking…. God has placed over 120 of His precious children in my hands. 120 children who need to be sponsored so they can go to school and get an education. 120 children who need to be sponsored so they have enough food to fill their bellies. 120 children who need to know they are loved by me and the Mwansa’s but most importantly that they are loved by their heavenly Father. And that terrified me.
I was so terrified. Why had God placed 120 children in my hands. I am only 18…. An intense feeling of inadequacy overcame my whole body. I couldn’t think straight. I could hardly utter a word. All I could think was “Why me Jesus? Why me?”
After a few moments of “Why me??” came a few moments of “Please Jesus help me. I can’t do this alone.” By the time we arrived at church I could feel Him telling me “You are not alone in this. I am here with you! I love these children more than you can even imagine!” The verse that kept coming to mind was Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I can’t remember the last time I had read that verse or had talked about it but God is so good like that.
I love to look back on the short 18 years of my life to see how God has been preparing me to me a momma to 120 orphaned and vulnerable children in Zambia. God placed it upon my heart years ago that He would make me a mom but never in a million years would I have guessed that it would be to 120 littles running around in Zambia. God sure does have a sense of humor!!
Thank you Jesus for placing this upon my heart many years ago! Thank you that your promises will always come true. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me in my day to day life. Thank you Jesus.
-We are spending the next week or so with the 80 or so children at the school in Chipata.
-Please pray for strength to get through the week strong and healthy,
-Wisdom as to what to teach these precious littles
-For Gods love to shine through us onto the kiddos.
-Pray for all the other teams around the world that God is working in them and through them